OMG... daily_deviant's theme this month was Fake Spoilers and crack. They provided 81 false spoilers for DH as prompts. I used THIRTY-FOUR. Plus a few more that should have been on the list. My brain hurts.


Title: "WRiNCL-on-Thyme"
Characters: Everyone? Remus/Sirius, Tonks/Ginny, Harry/Ron/Hermione, Albus/Gellert
Rating: R
Warnings/Kinks: CRACK! Excessive use of parentheses, implied bestiality and public sex, disturbing visuals of Hagrid
Summary: 34 of the 81 fake spoilers provided, plus a few more. Can you find them all? :P
Author's notes: I am so, so sorry, world. This is complete and total cracked-out crack, though there is sex in it! Briefly. Sort of. At least it's not my art? And I sporfled while writing- not sure if that bodes well or not.

Fake cut alert!
"WRiNCL-on-Thyme"

Commenters go to heaven!

Aha! Got the boys to behave. Anthony really is a flighty thing sometimes. Even when it's Sirius.

Title: "Erubesco et Erubesco"
Pairing: Sirius Black/Anthony Goldstein
Warnings/Kinks: AU, frotting, finger sucking, hair washing
Summary: The months passed too slowly for Sirius' taste. He wasn't disappointed by his new servant, which was surprising to him. He had expect to be annoyed by the boy's clearly virginal state and had expected to take care of that straightaway. But there was something about him that was different.
Notes: So here's my most idiosyncratic and completely beloved pairing (originally born of an RPG). Yes, yes, it's odd, but give it a read anyway. *puppy eyes* In addition to the AUness of the pairing, you also get it with a vague lord/scribe trope. Written for daily_deviant and my beloved sethkyne_blue.
In Latin, 'erubesco' means both 'to blush' and 'to respect'.

Fake Cut to Daily_Deviant!
"Erubesco et Erubesco"

Title: "A Better Mouse"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Characters: Bellatrix Lestrange/Lisa Turpin, Rodolphus Lestrange
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, dubcon, sex magic, violence, character death (mentioned)
Themes/kinks chosen: Brothels, candauilism, psuedobestiality
Word Count: 2015
Summary: The traitorous halfbloods who showed impressive magical ability were evaluated then given to those purebloods lower in society. Those who had little such talent were sterilized then sent to work in more menial tasks and occupations. Unless they were particularly attractive.
Author's notes: Thanks to written_doodles for the beta and random research.

( A Better Mouse )

Feedback shall be petted.

Er... yes. I'm not really dead. But I got sucked into teaching and grading, court dates, hex_files, and writing most of all. My SpringSMut is all done, delightfully pervy, and over 3K. I have 4 or 5 more fics that I've written extensively on and may finish at some point in my life to post. I will also do a RL post at some point soon.

For now though, I bring you CRACK!

This was shamelessly begged from me by charlotteschaos, ladyblack888, and one sleepy puppy. Inspired by "this Diary Entry by Gilderoy" at hex_files, I present to you "All that Glitters (Has Stupid Names)".


Title: "All that Glitters (Has Stupid Names)"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Pairing: Barty Crouch JR/Gilderoy Lockhart
Rating: PG-13
Length: 490 Words
Warnings: Crack, MPreg

( All that Glitters (Has Stupid Names) )
Feedback is sparkly.

This is something that's been nagging at me to be written for a few months now and I've finally finished it.

This is my Anthony... and his story and this one is clearly indebted to communiquills and trickster_gryff. So an abundance of love and thanks to sethkyne_blue, written_doodles, fleshdress, and cynicalpirate in particular. And snogs to marilla82 for the beta!


Title: “Still Life"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Characters: Anthony Goldstein plus 5 others.
Rating: PG
Warnings: slight AUness, one OMC

Summary: The tealeaves never changed, until the day Anthony fell.


( Still Life )


Feedback is loved forever.

After a prolonged absence, I prove that I am alive with a fic I wrote for sethkyne_blue who I love dearly and has kept me as sane as possible during the last month, all things considered.

I apologize to all for being gone. I'm hoping that posting this will be a way to get myself back on track.

I also apologize for the strangeness of the fic. *laughs* I blame this all on sethkyne_blue as this is one genre I never thought I'd write. So potential squick alert!



Title: "Subtle Shifting Shades"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Pairing: ?/?
Warnings/kinks: Fluff, morning sickness, and jam


( Subtle Shifting Shades )


Feedback is loved.

This is the 3rd part of "Viper's Kiss" in which I am reimagining the rise of Voldemort with Minerva as His ultimate partner, so it is dark and violent.

But, is this an AU? You decide. *smirks*

"Part 1"
"Part 2"

Title: "Viper's Kiss" (Part 3)
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Pairing: Tom/Minerva (With a side of Minerva/Sirius and Tom/Minerva/Regulus)
Rating: NC-17 (for violence and sex)
Warning: horror, character death, Evil!Minerva

Disclaimer: The HP universe belongs to one very canny woman who shall remain JK Rowling. All I have are piles of shiny fabric, stacks of scribbled-in books, and my animals (husband included).
Notes: A special thanks to xellas for being my perfect Tom and to wildestranger for listening to me whinge then telling me the chapter was good.

( Today, like all those before it, was a day to lie. )


Feedback shall be comforted.

This is the 2nd part in what is looking like 4 parts of "Viper's Kiss" in which I am reimagining the rise of Voldemort with Minerva as His ultimate partner, so it is dark and violent.

But, is this an AU? You decide. *smirks*


You need to read (and comment on, please!) "Part 1" first. You can follow the link to here again.

Title:"Viper's Kiss" (Part 2)
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Pairing: Tom/Minerva
Rating: NC-17 (for violence and sex)
Warning: branding, blood-play, character death, Evil!Minerva

Disclaimer: The HP universe belongs to one very canny woman who shall remain JK Rowling. All I have are piles of shiny fabric, stacks of scribbled-in books, and my animals (husband included).
Notes: A special thanks to xellas for being my Tom, to wildestranger doing a beta read, and to bloodrebel333 whose praise reanimated my muse.


( This was more than ink and skin and blood. This was magic written into the skin, the word made flesh. )

Feedback shall be snogged. Or fed a cookie.

Ahh, well, 30 minutes to spare for xellas's birthday here on the West Coast. So, um, yes. This is the beginning section of something much larger that has been eating my brain for weeks. But I wanted to get at least part of it up on her birthday, but there is much more of it which I shall post later unless I scare all my friends away.

It really is a work that stems from xellas's "Serpent's Feast" which is a true masterpiece of dark!fic.


Title:"Viper's Kiss" (Part 1)
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Pairing: Tom/Minerva
Rating: NC-17 (for violence and sex)
Warning: blood-play, breath-play, character death, Evil!Minerva

Disclaimer: The HP universe belongs to one very canny woman who shall remain JK Rowling. All I have are piles of shiny fabric, stacks of scribbled-in books, and my animals (husband included).


( She wasn't innocent. She never had been. Never would be. )

And the writing continues!!! For the ever lovely wildestranger who has spoiled me with beautiful fics, I offer this humble and sadly PORN-deficient drabble. *hugs*


( Counterfeit (1453) for Wildestranger, Remus/Draco, PG-13 )