pre_raphaelite1

FIC: "Full" (Remus/Sirius, NC-17)

2009-11-21T18:18:55Z

And because I never posted to my personal journal, here's my Daily_Deviant fic from September!

Title: "Full"
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Enemas, much swearing and insulting of vicars
Summary: “Because I want to,” Remus informed him in a low pitch that sent gooseflesh rippling up Sirius' spine. “Because I want to see just how much you can fucking take before you start begging me to stop. Because I want you to feel just what it would be like to have every inch of your arse straining and stretched until it's indistinguishable from your intestines and all you know and all you are is full.”
Author's notes: I think I need to change my username to "nooneelse" so when these particular themes come up everyone will know that "nooneelse" will right them. :P Written for iJ's alisanne after I promised her something fluffy in the wake of July's necro fic!

Fake cut to Daily_Deviant!

"Full"

FIC: "Alternatives" (Morfin Gaunt/Quirrell, Voldie/Quirrell, NC-17)

2009-11-21T18:06:17Z

November's Daily_Deviant fic... I wrote the alternate pairing this month. For some reason no one wants to write Morfin Gaunt. :P

Title: "Alternatives"
Characters: Morfin Gaunt/Quirrell, Voldemort/Quirrell
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-con, Morfin Gaunt, Squickiness, slight crackiness? (Did you see the pairings?) castrati
Word Count: 1520
Summary: Quirrell lays in his bed at night, fidgeting. He used to sleep well, find comfort on his back in the softness of down blankets and the firmness of a good pillow and equally supportive mattress. But now he lays awake for hours, unable to deal with his own bony elbow poking into the side he has to lay on or to adjust to the soft pillow he must use now.
Author's notes: I'm sorry. Where was I supposed to go with this pairing? I mean, really? I think writing Morfin Gaunt in a fluffy romance would be far more terrifying than having him in a darker fic. Right? Right? :P

Fake Cut to Daily_Deviant!

"Alternatives"

Uhhhh-

2009-11-19T06:35:43Z

I think I need to apologise in advance to my readers for what I'm about to do in my Daily_Deviant fic.

So, I'm sorry.

The fic will be posted in a bit at (Insane Journal's) Daily_Deviant and I'll provide links here.

Oh. My. God!

2009-11-16T17:56:50Z

I swear, I'm not dead. Really.

I'm here! It's just been really crazy. For anyone who is lucky enough not to be in education in CA, the state budget has totally fucked with the university resulting in people having contracts/employment ripped out from under them at the last minute. I was one of the lucky few who was rehired for this fall quarter after being unemployed during the summer. Of course none of us will have jobs in winter quarter so.. um... life sucks ass in a bad way.

I have a couple fics I've not yet linked here but I have been staying on top of my Daily_Deviant stuff and am now revving up for both hp_april_fools and for July's Infinitus in Orlando. And I'll get some recent student quotes up here eventually!

How is everyone else? *smooches everyone!*

FIC: "The Lingering" (Walden/Unidentified Female, NC-17)

2009-07-20T16:02:12Z

Title: The Lingering
Characters: Walden MacNair/unidentified female
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: necrophilia, character death, torture, noncon, snuff, spanking...
Word Count: 1075
Summary: People thought- wrongly, Walden knew- that methods not birthed in green light were just as final, just as crisp. But he knew how some bodies held something, he didn't know how to identify it, but something lingered.
Author's notes: So, this was written in 40 minutes in the middle of the Prison Break Ball at Azkatraz when I remembered today was my posting day at daily_deviant... And this did cause my poor girlfriend to have another squicked flail of "OMG! I dating pre_raphaelite1!" (yes, she uses my username for this flail.) This month's theme was necrophilia and once again, no one else had written it by the time it was my turn to post which means I had to do it, so blame all the other D_D writers for this one. :P

Fake cut to daily_deviant!
"The Lingering"

Azkatraz Update

2009-07-18T20:44:05Z

I have just nearly been killed by a cheeseburger at Azkatraz' welcoming feast. It was completely raw on the inside and I do like rare beef, but this was raaaaaaaaaaaaaw. Squick.

I've gotten to see LittleBlackBow, Dacro, Amanuensis1, RedDwarfer, TwilightSorcery, Xylodemon, and tons others that I've currently forgotten in my post-raw ground beef haze. :P

And now, I'm about to head to the craft fair to sell my plush squid! Tomorrow are my talks and a panel on Monday.

Say hello if you're new! Or if you're old. :P

Fairy Tales for all!

2009-07-14T02:52:04Z

flesh/fleshdress has passed on hp_fairytales to yours truly!

I am toying with multiple posting options and will be generating a poll before much longer

View poll: HP_FairyTales!

A Poll!

2009-07-14T02:37:42Z

View poll: Azkatraz Anyone?

Won't you be my neighbor...

2009-06-28T00:45:51Z

Just wondering how everyone is! So, tell me. How are you? :D

R/S Love Fest!

2009-06-26T20:13:06Z

Courtesy of imochan! Go over HERE and enjoy the Old School REmus/Sirius love!!!

And here, these are my recs from my start in fandom (mostly from 2005)!

wildestranger told me to come here and god, what love at the height of R/S insanity! So I'll throw a few recs from other old timers, all pulled from my first set LJ memories.

My favourite story ever: Mapmakers by Casira (Still makes me cry)

The rest in no particular order:
"And Then There was One" by citikitti.
"Masked Revels" and "Stealing Harry" by sam/copperbadge
"Bambi Springs", "Consequences", and "Suavant Latine" by shaggydogstail
"Collared" and "Domestic Bliss" by sethkyne_blue.
"Abner of Astlegate's Most Splendid Pox" by sheafrotherdon
"So we’ll go no more a roving", "A Thing of Dark Imaginings", and "A Satyr Against Reason" by wildestranger
"Oh, Night and Divine" by imochan
"Letters from the Dead" by fleur-de-liz
"Funny Thing" and "The Line is Fine" by kabeyk
"A Lesson in Palmistry" by _emeraldgreen
"In the Winter of You're Gone" by blacksatinrose

All of these were from the days where RemusXSirius wasn't filled with teenaged badfic writers.

Slay me with your Sword of Truth. Please?

2009-06-14T00:37:56Z

I am in the midst of end of the quarter grading and have paused to share some gems with you. These span a couple of assignments but basically this class is about semiotics, analysis, and interpretation of fairy tales.

The Gentlemen are known as monsters because they kill people and take the hearts; this is one of the taboos that the society has acknowledged that is inhumane. Therefore, anyone who kills and takes the heart from another person is considered a monster.
There go my weekend plans.

In the end [Sora] fights the bad guy and he saves his child hood sweat heart.
Ewwww!

[The Heartless] are a good group of villains which everyone will admire.
Oh yes. Let us all hold great admire the bad guys.

The key blade takes the shape of a very large key in the likeliness of a blade which is used to bash enemy's heads in.
The key blade is a key which is likely a blade for bashing? WTF?

The fears the gentlemen evoke are their monstrous grins and their ability to float shows that they are up to no good.
Oh such fail...

Also the gentlemen are the abject kind of guys.
I wonder what Kristeva would say about this phrasing?

The Gentlemen obviously evoke man insecurities.
I have man insecurities. Should I see a therapist?

In class, Buffy dreams of a little girl with a chest box.
Sadly this is not nearly as interesting as it seems, though if there were a chest box I bet it would have a combination lock in the nipples.

As for the way to defeat the evil, the use of fairy tales in this episode [of Buffy] would illustrate the perception, of the man being the ultimate hero in the entire story. No matter what the trouble is, it would always be the male figure who would perform the task to save a person or city.
Clearly this person has never watched Buffy- including the episode assigned.

The fairy tale gender that is used in this show is the horror gender.
Yeah, I wish they meant genre here, but no... it was a paragraph about gender.

This fairy tale is more of a lesson story.
And my fics are more of porn tales.

The Gentlemen evoke a fear which has been instilled in every child with no exceptions. The fear of you skin and bones aunt or grandparent. The one that pinches your cheeks way to hard while you sit there wondering how can they possibly have the muscle to pinch with such unbelievable force.
Wow. That's some serious childhood trauma this student has.

Red Riding hood goes to the grandma with a basket of fruits because grandma is a good patriarch.
Oh there are so many places I could go with this... not the least of all wondering how many fruits you can get into one basket and still carry it?

They were practically joined at the him.
As thegildedmagpie says, this is called docking.

Fairy tales allow a child to learn to cope with their unconscious problem.
Any guesses what this unconscious problem is? Bedwetting maybe?

Men like breast because it is one of the most important features a woman can have. This is because women who have bigger breast can provide more sources for their children, such as milk.
The other breast provides orange juice and cash.

[Wearing a Mickey Mouse necklace] can relate to my miniature size breast because it reveals that I am not full grown. If I am I would probably wear a more sophisticated jewelry like a pearl necklace.
1) TMI.
2) er... TMI but LOL?

More later, I'm sure.

WHINE

2009-05-26T21:48:18Z

Fucking, FUCKING California. SERIOUSLY. WTF? I wish I could get the energy to be livid but I'm just so goddamn depressed about this.

I'm wearing my PRincess Bride shirt today... it originally read "Death can not stop true love." But now? I've added a large label over "death" so it reads "The supreme court can not stop true love." Fuckers.

The only thing that's made today worth getting out of bed? This quote from a student's essay on LIttle Red Riding Hood:

"[The huntsman] cuts [the wolf] open, rescues Riding Hood and the grandma, then drags the dead carcass to his house to nail."
Necrophilia for the win.

FIC: "Shoulders" (Sirius/Harry, R)

2009-05-25T06:29:01Z

For emiime's birthday. A bit belated but with extra adoration. I hope you enjoy it as it did its own thing.

Title: "Shoulders"
Pairing: Sirius/Harry
Rating: R
Warnings/Kinks: Nothing particular? Fixation on a single body part. A bit drifty (but on purpose!)
Summary: Sirius doesn't want to look. Doesn't want to notice or see. And most of all he doesn't want to think.

Sirius doesn't want to look. Doesn't want to notice or see. And most of all he doesn't want to think.

But there they are, feet from him. Held just so. As if fixed in time and space before him. Unyielding. Proud. Ready to crumble.

He should know. His body moves into that position nearly as quickly as it curls in on itself, tail over nose to keep warm. It's muscle memory- unthinking movements and gestures that show more of himself than anyone should see. Than anyone should know. Years of forced repetition, necessity breeding response, and he can't even feel when it happens, unaware of the shift, the motions until something twinges or tickles.

Sirius wonders if it's the same with Harry. If he too has been subject to years of developed reaction, of the sheer need for it. And there Sirius is, thinking about it, despite swearing to himself that he wouldn't. That this is a no good that is actually dangerous, risky. Not a slippery slope of willow or stone, but of bodies and want. And Sirius wants.

He wants to reach out, to touch, to soothe, to feel warm skin over strong bones, to ease the strain put on muscles too young to have such long memories. His fingers curl, stretch, and curl again to ward off the desire for more. But his hands know far more than his tail ever has and he can't convince them of their folly. They're Black hands, Marauder hands, and never willingly idle hands. So when the chance, the nearness is enough, too much, they touch.

Harry inhales, quiet and quick, but Sirius' hands refuse to return, refuse to listen to logic and history and it's James' goddamn son, you bastards. Bastard. For there is only one of those now. Only Sirius. Only Harry. Only the two of them alone in the room, close enough that Sirius can breath in the scent of wool and soap and youth and he can't stop and he doesn't want to stop and no one is there to make him move his hands away, his chest, his mouth. Harry breathes him in, takes him into himself; every breath, every gasp, accepts, needs more of him. And Sirius gives all he can. Everything he can. Delicate caresses, firm strokes, mouthfuls of assurances, and the unrelenting rocking, thrusting slide of apology twined with promise. His life into Harry's hands, into his body that moves too easily, that knows too well. And it is everything Sirius has lost, found again; everything that was destroyed, born once more, only to die again at the end of the day on a pile of broken timbers and fading embers too hot to be touched, too distant to glow as they do in the flush of his cheeks and the clench of his fists. Another position too readily claimed.

He slinks back, fur over skin, shadowed silence into the darkness. Retreat. Wrong. Wrong. Take a stand. Move forward. Too much to lose no matter where he goes, where he stays. One flicker of his ears. Two. Uncertainty beating out an irregular rhythm of please.

Then he speaks. Come.

And Sirius does. Without question. Without thought. He returns before he knows he's heard the word, the demand, the acceptance. But here he lies, in the tangled arms of his godson, fingers stroking through greying hair and his mouth moving in silent prayers over the siren shape of stubborn sinew that refuses to drop, refuses to yield, and refuses to be forgotten.

Oi vey...

2009-05-25T00:01:47Z

So I'm teaching two courses on fairy tales this quarter and while I'm used to teaching remedial college writing and this is actually the highest level in the writing program, my students are disappointing by and large. I have a couple really fabulous students, two who are impressive and one of the fun sorts who is content to intelligent snark in class (ie, someone just like I was in class).

This last student actually told me last class that I should take classes in stripping for exercise. I sort of stared at her for a moment then laughed and pointed out that I was not going to dwell on the implications of either the exercise portion of that, or that a student just told me I should learn how to become a stripper. My beloved Magpie was next to me and it was apparently all she could do to keep from commenting, "You're making a big assumption in thinking she doesn't know how." *knows nothing about pole dancing, stripclubs, or working as a professional dominatrix on the advice of her shrink*

In addition to that level of fun, I'm grading essays today. Six page analysis/interpretation of a child's picture book of a fairy tale. I've had an impressive one, one good one, two mediocre ones, and one complete shite so far. I wish I could give I, G, M, and S as grades sut to give myself sadistic glee. thegildedmagpie's mum was an English teacher for years, teaching high school, so we have great times talking and she actually just bought me two nice red pens for me, as I was muttering about the scratchiness of the one I had. Such a lovely woman!

And finally, the reason I opened up my journal here, this line from the current essay:

[Sleeping Beauty's dress] accents the princess' small waste, which is extremely attractive in society's average male.

*sporfles and falls off the bed*

RPG Pimping!

2009-05-22T07:49:45Z

Oi. Anyone looking for a fun bit of RolePlaying? Something with a low level of required play? Somewhere you can bring ANY character from ANY fandom?

Check out bearandbarnacle!

I'm the co-mod there and we've got characters landing in present day Margate from HP, Turchwad (sorry, it's Sam's fault I call it this), Slayers, Buffy, Canterella, Mary Poppins, and Shakespeare to name a few. Each character comes from their own idiosyncratic universe from whatever point in time you choose so you can bring in YOUR Harry or YOUR James Bond or YOUR Elphaba and see what happens.

There's no lengthy mod-decided plot or heavy goal. It's there for some fun and creative play. Every month the mods offer up one topic and one event for people to respond to. You can pick one or the other! If you play multiple characters you can rotate months for them! Currently the topic is "Technology" and the Event is Age Play!

So come play with Iago from Othello, Xellos from Slayers, or Cesare from Canterella! How about Mary Poppins or Sherlock Holmes or the Joker? We have quite a few HP characters as well, like a postwar Lucius and a 6 year Tonks.

bearandbarnaclebearandbarnaclebearandbarnacle

Save me!

2009-05-20T18:31:33Z

I... just read a couple fics on LJ's RemusXSirius... Why?!

*whines and rinses brain with soap*

I really thought- "Hey, maybe it's gotten better? Maybe it's not all crap." And maybe it's not. But the three I just read? Crap. *siiigh* I feel dirty now.

It's really a shame. It has SUCH a high number of members (nearly 4,000) and I'll admit to being a bit of a feedback whore. But more than that, I am fairly confident of my R/S and think many would actually ENJOY my fics.... For the good of puppyshipping kind and all that. But the whole comm still seems awash in BADfic... and a lot of readers/writers don't seem to be aware of this.

*grumbles and clings to iJ*

Incidentally, I should go do a couple posts at the iJ RxS... though I think everyone there is on my F-list. :P

FIC! "What's Your Problem?" (Remus/Sirius, NC-17)

2009-05-20T08:30:24Z

Title: "What's Your Problem?"
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, with side dishes of James, Peter, and McGonagall~~'s knickers~~
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Kinks: Dirty Talk. Drunkenness. Exhibitionism. Ridiculous Marauders. More drunkenness. Masturbation, mutual masturbation, fingering, fisting.
Word Count: 2700
Summary: Remus shrugged a little before continuing. “But regardless, James is right. Your arse is, so far, very useless. I think that needs to change.”
“It is not! It does perfectly normal arsely things. There is no need for change. None at all,” Sirius asserted with a slightly uncordinated flail of his arms and some odd curling of his hands which Remus took to be Drunken Black Sign Language (By no means Universal) to mean “arsely”.
Author's notes: Oh to be ficcing again after hp_april_fools! This was one of those fics that did its own thing and used me as its typing bitch. So all silliness is the fault of the fic. And the drunken Marauders. *nodnod* Okay- it's totally my fault but at least it's not Hagrid/Fang snot fic? Again.

Fake cut to Daily_Deviant!
"What's Your Problem?"

In other news...

2009-05-13T23:52:57Z

I am back among the blogging living. hp_april_fools is over for another year. That shit takes it out of me. It's awesome and wonderful and exhausting. I definitely need to recruit another mod for next year. *nodnod*

I am not doing Lusty Month of May this year which feels a bit odd. I might run again next year, with more BPAL ficlets, but this year I just have too much going on.

I am, however, going to Azkatraz in July and am starting to get excited! I've done done an HP con since 2007's Sectus. *twitches from withdrawl* I will be there with girlfriend thegildedmagpie and best friend clumsy_goddess and will be in costume every day. This means I've sewing to do... including 3, yes 3, Quidditch costumes. *headdesks* I'm giving two lectures this year, one on Victorian Womanhood in HP and one on Fairy Tales in FanFic. Then I'm apparently playing on a Motherhood panel as well. When I'm not flouncing about in shiny, swishy clothes or beating people with brooms or giving exciting lectures which will no doubt involve me saying 'fuck' at least twice; I will be hosting a Squid-adopt-athon at the craft faire. You too want your very own Giant Squid "stuffed" by pre_raphaelite1.

I think that's the current news.

Oh, and thanks to wildestranger, I also have a Dreamwidth account. So feel free to add me over there if you like. I'm not planning on moving. What about you lot?

Also, who is going to Azkatraz?

Fun things to say in class!

2009-05-13T23:20:12Z

So, I am teaching two uni courses on fairy tales this quarter and in the course of a discussion on Little Red Riding Hood and social taboos, I found myself asking my class the following:

Why is it okay to eat Jesus and not your grandmother?!

Porny Pic Hosting?

2009-04-17T18:27:26Z

Anyone know of any places that I can host porn? :P

Well, it's ART, but still... my hp_april_fools images are getting pulled from photobucket. (Big surprise, right?)

Last year I had a gallery on a friend's website which was great- but it broke and she never fixed it or let me take another subdomain even with offers to pay her. *siiigh*

Suggestions? Help?

I've just gone ahead and registered a domain...

See Fools and See Me In Person!

2009-04-05T19:41:56Z

Two notes!

One! COME SEE hp_april_fools!!! Posting has started and there is some AMAZING works! Lots of Snarry so far! But such good stuff.

Two! COME SEE ME in person! *pimps self out* I'll be at Azkatraz in SanFran in July. I'm doing two talks which I'll give abstracts of and the times when the schedule is done. But I'll be there Thurs-Tues and if you come introduce yourself, I'll write you a drabble!

OH! And TWO part two! I'll also be doing an Adopt-a-Squid-athon at the Craft Fair at Azkatraz. All plush squids are handmade and stuffed by me *eyebrow waggle* and come with adoption information and a brief biography.

The best iJ name ever...

2009-02-20T00:02:58Z

One of my students believes that a female sheep is called a "sheepstress".

It's like a leather-wearing, needle-wielding ewe! *dies laughing*

Maaahwiage...

2009-02-19T23:20:17Z

A nice collection of stupid quotes from my students' essays on the merits of cohabitation over marriage, typed precisely as they turn them in:

Many times spouses find each other while dating.
And others find each other at the alter. Too bad this student wasn't making a comparison.

Married couples are likely richer than couples just living together... More wealth means less stress and also reducing domestic violence.
Because rich people never beat the shit out of their spouse. That's only done by those awful poor people.

Couples whom do not live together but married are financially stable and less likely to get a divorce.
Ahahaha. This is the solution! Get married. Don't live together!

What is in front of you take the opportunity.
Uhhhh.

The author gives her son's story about how they have been gong out for a while now and have chosen not to get married.
Mmmm mother-son incestis all well and good, but OMG! They're living in SIN!

When in a marriage the couples would combine their social circle to be able to hang out with their friends and can expand their social circle.
Because you can't do that until you're married and until you've gotten married and married to the person you married.

Family plays a big part when talking about a couple or the individual you have become one with.
Clearly one of my classes is obsessed with threesome marriages. And it wasn't even my doing!

The author disagrees with her son's decision due to subjects dealing with the benefits of marriage, the economic beliefs about marriage as well as personal feelings of herself and others in regards to her son's marital status.
Economic beliefs?

In the outside eyes of the world all of these points would be considered more so presentable with a ring on your finger, but what the eyes of society think should not matter if you and your spouse are happy with the life you live.
This is as opposed to the nonthinking inside eyes of society?

Things always tend to get a little ruff in marriage between a couple.
And a little meow in a marriage between a triad?

The term girlfriend or boyfriend states that you have a spouse and that you're comitted but the term wife or husband sates the same exact claim jus with a ring and a paper that states that two people are together.
*blinks*

It appears that yous ave more money a year without medical insurance so I wouldn't really say that this is an economic benefit but a benefit that is given to married couple only.
My students are so out of touch with reality.

"The percent of marriages that end in divorce jumped from roughly percent to 45 percent". This increasing percentage of failure in marriages shows not only that many marriages are failing, but that they are increasing in rate as well.
Oh very astute.

People do not live just to see a loved one make it through another year.
Damn... that's harsh.

Non-married people can still celebrate an anniversary with or without being married.
Logic fail.

Cohabitation for same sex and heterogeneous couples should be accepted.
And my Magpie says "Eugenics is a beautiful thing?"

This act of cohabitation is considered illegal in some states and can be recognized as a sex crime.
Though this student did not support such a claim in their essay and was supposed to be supporting cohabitation, his claim is actually true. Mississippi, Virginia, Florida, North Dakota and Michigan all technically have laws against opposite sex cohabitation. Unsurprisingly all of these states except North Dakota had sodomy laws still in effect until the 2003 Lawrence Vs. Texas. I love America.

A bad simile is like...

2009-02-03T22:23:20Z

Today in the 20th century, marriage seems to have been abused like a person being taken into an alley and beaten with a baseball bat.

Was the bat wood? Or aluminum?

This reference to Veggie Tales in response to a stupid student quote is brought to you by the letter F, the number 0, and the 21st century.

Student Quotes! Weeee!

2009-02-02T06:12:47Z

A selection of quotes from my students from their essays on memory:

[The researcher] cut the students in half, to the first half she asks, "Was the leader of the 12 demonstrators...a male?" and to the second half, "Was the leader of the 4 demonstrators... male?"
I reckon if the students were cut horizontally rather than vertically in half, the bottom half would have a better chance to determining if this leader was male, just based on proximity. :P

Another optical illusion, much more real is the fact the world is round.
Because the world is really flat? WTF?

Just to think by simply wording things differently are mind can play tricks on our memory like that is something to really think about.
To think is something to think about? Maybe this student should have tried that.

Loftus tells with actual evidence that we have about how memory is formed, that even if she recalls at such a young age, it is impossible for her to have recalled it.
Uhhh... What?

The brain and mind are great Danes of the world.
Not THE Great Danes, like the dogs, but awesome people from Denmark! (And by the way, the brain and mind are totally different :P)

Having complete knowledge of things and actual facts backing up with what we perceive, can ultimately shape our mind.
Damn it all! If only I weren't pyschic, my mind wouldn't be shaped!

I am convinced to somewhat of an extent whether or not to doubt what people perceive or remember simply because of this essay and the experiences in my life.
And this is the thesis... Nothing like taking a side or two.

This instance convinces me that seeing is believing. Because of the fact that I never saw Santa, allows me to not believe that he exists.
The Magpie would like to point out that this student just spent several sentences describing the instance where Santa was, in fact, personally seen.
And the Pre_Raphaelite thinks this student is out of his mind. :P

Upon arriving at the fairy which would take us to the Statue of Liberty, I could already see "Cinderella."
The Magpie regrets that she cannot assure the reader of this sentence making sense in context.
I thought fairies took us to Neverland!

The first level was the misperception of the event itself, and the two great tricksters of passage through memory before later disgorgement-retention and retrieval.
I like disgorgement... it's like mental vomitting.

It is understood that not only did pressure from her dad affected how she was thinking about what happened, but maybe the fact that she was hit numerous times in the head and jumped on, it could have been harder to recognize the five girls who attacked her.
No Shit.

When I was about 5 years old I went to Yellowstone National Park, up until I was about 14 years old I thought that we had in fact went to Jellystone because of my cartoon watching. As of recently I actually found out we went to neither place and in fact our journey was to Yosemite, so in my mind Yosemite is actually Yellowstone and Yellowstone is really Jellystone all because of the publicity of Yellowstone, and Yogi Bear, proving that external forces caused me to believe that a place was another place which was actually another place.
Bwahahahahahaha. I'm not sure which is better- the info in this sentence or the length of it.

That's to say: "Ronny said the pig looked up in the sky as he attended his daily chores" is more believable than "Ronny said the pig looked up in the sky as he flew overhead in a stolen plane full of treasure."
But- But... I see treasure-hunting pilot pigs ALL the TIME!

All the sweat he had dropped during his job, to buy a house, and to raise a family was gone in a blink of an eye.
One would think that was a good thing- otherwise, what would he do? Keep it in bottles around the house?

I had to bust a mission back home walking early in the cold weather, so I do not have to deal with my mom roaring at me where I was last night.
Nice formal language, don't you think? Bust a mission- people say this?

And from the Super Bowl commentary:
"He's one of those guys who will always get penetration."
Rather like Sirius?