For emiime's birthday. A bit belated but with extra adoration. I hope you enjoy it as it did its own thing.


Title: "Shoulders"
Pairing: Sirius/Harry
Rating: R
Warnings/Kinks: Nothing particular? Fixation on a single body part. A bit drifty (but on purpose!)
Summary: Sirius doesn't want to look. Doesn't want to notice or see. And most of all he doesn't want to think.


( Shoulders )

So I'm teaching two courses on fairy tales this quarter and while I'm used to teaching remedial college writing and this is actually the highest level in the writing program, my students are disappointing by and large. I have a couple really fabulous students, two who are impressive and one of the fun sorts who is content to intelligent snark in class (ie, someone just like I was in class).

This last student actually told me last class that I should take classes in stripping for exercise. I sort of stared at her for a moment then laughed and pointed out that I was not going to dwell on the implications of either the exercise portion of that, or that a student just told me I should learn how to become a stripper. My beloved Magpie was next to me and it was apparently all she could do to keep from commenting, "You're making a big assumption in thinking she doesn't know how." *knows nothing about pole dancing, stripclubs, or working as a professional dominatrix on the advice of her shrink*

In addition to that level of fun, I'm grading essays today. Six page analysis/interpretation of a child's picture book of a fairy tale. I've had an impressive one, one good one, two mediocre ones, and one complete shite so far. I wish I could give I, G, M, and S as grades sut to give myself sadistic glee. thegildedmagpie's mum was an English teacher for years, teaching high school, so we have great times talking and she actually just bought me two nice red pens for me, as I was muttering about the scratchiness of the one I had. Such a lovely woman!

And finally, the reason I opened up my journal here, this line from the current essay:

[Sleeping Beauty's dress] accents the princess' small waste, which is extremely attractive in society's average male.

*sporfles and falls off the bed*

Oi. Anyone looking for a fun bit of RolePlaying? Something with a low level of required play? Somewhere you can bring ANY character from ANY fandom?

Check out bearandbarnacle!

I'm the co-mod there and we've got characters landing in present day Margate from HP, Turchwad (sorry, it's Sam's fault I call it this), Slayers, Buffy, Canterella, Mary Poppins, and Shakespeare to name a few. Each character comes from their own idiosyncratic universe from whatever point in time you choose so you can bring in YOUR Harry or YOUR James Bond or YOUR Elphaba and see what happens.

There's no lengthy mod-decided plot or heavy goal. It's there for some fun and creative play. Every month the mods offer up one topic and one event for people to respond to. You can pick one or the other! If you play multiple characters you can rotate months for them! Currently the topic is "Technology" and the Event is Age Play!

So come play with Iago from Othello, Xellos from Slayers, or Cesare from Canterella! How about Mary Poppins or Sherlock Holmes or the Joker? We have quite a few HP characters as well, like a postwar Lucius and a 6 year Tonks.

bearandbarnaclebearandbarnaclebearandbarnacle

I... just read a couple fics on LJ's RemusXSirius... Why?!

*whines and rinses brain with soap*

I really thought- "Hey, maybe it's gotten better? Maybe it's not all crap." And maybe it's not. But the three I just read? Crap. *siiigh* I feel dirty now.

It's really a shame. It has SUCH a high number of members (nearly 4,000) and I'll admit to being a bit of a feedback whore. But more than that, I am fairly confident of my R/S and think many would actually ENJOY my fics.... For the good of puppyshipping kind and all that. But the whole comm still seems awash in BADfic... and a lot of readers/writers don't seem to be aware of this.

*grumbles and clings to iJ*

Incidentally, I should go do a couple posts at the iJ RxS... though I think everyone there is on my F-list. :P

Title: "What's Your Problem?"
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, with side dishes of James, Peter, and McGonagall's knickers
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Kinks: Dirty Talk. Drunkenness. Exhibitionism. Ridiculous Marauders. More drunkenness. Masturbation, mutual masturbation, fingering, fisting.
Word Count: 2700
Summary: Remus shrugged a little before continuing. “But regardless, James is right. Your arse is, so far, very useless. I think that needs to change.”
“It is not! It does perfectly normal arsely things. There is no need for change. None at all,” Sirius asserted with a slightly uncordinated flail of his arms and some odd curling of his hands which Remus took to be Drunken Black Sign Language (By no means Universal) to mean “arsely”.
Author's notes: Oh to be ficcing again after hp_april_fools! This was one of those fics that did its own thing and used me as its typing bitch. So all silliness is the fault of the fic. And the drunken Marauders. *nodnod* Okay- it's totally my fault but at least it's not Hagrid/Fang snot fic? Again.

Fake cut to Daily_Deviant!
"What's Your Problem?"

I am back among the blogging living. hp_april_fools is over for another year. That shit takes it out of me. It's awesome and wonderful and exhausting. I definitely need to recruit another mod for next year. *nodnod*

I am not doing Lusty Month of May this year which feels a bit odd. I might run again next year, with more BPAL ficlets, but this year I just have too much going on.

I am, however, going to Azkatraz in July and am starting to get excited! I've done done an HP con since 2007's Sectus. *twitches from withdrawl* I will be there with girlfriend thegildedmagpie and best friend clumsy_goddess and will be in costume every day. This means I've sewing to do... including 3, yes 3, Quidditch costumes. *headdesks* I'm giving two lectures this year, one on Victorian Womanhood in HP and one on Fairy Tales in FanFic. Then I'm apparently playing on a Motherhood panel as well. When I'm not flouncing about in shiny, swishy clothes or beating people with brooms or giving exciting lectures which will no doubt involve me saying 'fuck' at least twice; I will be hosting a Squid-adopt-athon at the craft faire. You too want your very own Giant Squid "stuffed" by pre_raphaelite1.

I think that's the current news.

Oh, and thanks to wildestranger, I also have a Dreamwidth account. So feel free to add me over there if you like. I'm not planning on moving. What about you lot?

Also, who is going to Azkatraz?

So, I am teaching two uni courses on fairy tales this quarter and in the course of a discussion on Little Red Riding Hood and social taboos, I found myself asking my class the following:

Why is it okay to eat Jesus and not your grandmother?!

Anyone know of any places that I can host porn? :P

Well, it's ART, but still... my hp_april_fools images are getting pulled from photobucket. (Big surprise, right?)

Last year I had a gallery on a friend's website which was great- but it broke and she never fixed it or let me take another subdomain even with offers to pay her. *siiigh*

Suggestions? Help?

I've just gone ahead and registered a domain...

Two notes!

One! COME SEE hp_april_fools!!! Posting has started and there is some AMAZING works! Lots of Snarry so far! But such good stuff.

Two! COME SEE ME in person! *pimps self out* I'll be at Azkatraz in SanFran in July. I'm doing two talks which I'll give abstracts of and the times when the schedule is done. But I'll be there Thurs-Tues and if you come introduce yourself, I'll write you a drabble!

OH! And TWO part two! I'll also be doing an Adopt-a-Squid-athon at the Craft Fair at Azkatraz. All plush squids are handmade and stuffed by me *eyebrow waggle* and come with adoption information and a brief biography.

One of my students believes that a female sheep is called a "sheepstress".

It's like a leather-wearing, needle-wielding ewe! *dies laughing*

A nice collection of stupid quotes from my students' essays on the merits of cohabitation over marriage, typed precisely as they turn them in:

Many times spouses find each other while dating.
And others find each other at the alter. Too bad this student wasn't making a comparison.

( Click )

Today in the 20th century, marriage seems to have been abused like a person being taken into an alley and beaten with a baseball bat.

Was the bat wood? Or aluminum?

This reference to Veggie Tales in response to a stupid student quote is brought to you by the letter F, the number 0, and the 21st century.

A selection of quotes from my students from their essays on memory:


[The researcher] cut the students in half, to the first half she asks, "Was the leader of the 12 demonstrators...a male?" and to the second half, "Was the leader of the 4 demonstrators... male?"
I reckon if the students were cut horizontally rather than vertically in half, the bottom half would have a better chance to determining if this leader was male, just based on proximity. :P

Another optical illusion, much more real is the fact the world is round.
Because the world is really flat? WTF?

Just to think by simply wording things differently are mind can play tricks on our memory like that is something to really think about.
To think is something to think about? Maybe this student should have tried that.

Loftus tells with actual evidence that we have about how memory is formed, that even if she recalls at such a young age, it is impossible for her to have recalled it.
Uhhh... What?

The brain and mind are great Danes of the world.
Not THE Great Danes, like the dogs, but awesome people from Denmark! (And by the way, the brain and mind are totally different :P)

Having complete knowledge of things and actual facts backing up with what we perceive, can ultimately shape our mind.
Damn it all! If only I weren't pyschic, my mind wouldn't be shaped!

I am convinced to somewhat of an extent whether or not to doubt what people perceive or remember simply because of this essay and the experiences in my life.
And this is the thesis... Nothing like taking a side or two.

This instance convinces me that seeing is believing. Because of the fact that I never saw Santa, allows me to not believe that he exists.
The Magpie would like to point out that this student just spent several sentences describing the instance where Santa was, in fact, personally seen.
And the Pre_Raphaelite thinks this student is out of his mind. :P

Upon arriving at the fairy which would take us to the Statue of Liberty, I could already see "Cinderella."
The Magpie regrets that she cannot assure the reader of this sentence making sense in context.
I thought fairies took us to Neverland!

The first level was the misperception of the event itself, and the two great tricksters of passage through memory before later disgorgement-retention and retrieval.
I like disgorgement... it's like mental vomitting.

It is understood that not only did pressure from her dad affected how she was thinking about what happened, but maybe the fact that she was hit numerous times in the head and jumped on, it could have been harder to recognize the five girls who attacked her.
No Shit.

When I was about 5 years old I went to Yellowstone National Park, up until I was about 14 years old I thought that we had in fact went to Jellystone because of my cartoon watching. As of recently I actually found out we went to neither place and in fact our journey was to Yosemite, so in my mind Yosemite is actually Yellowstone and Yellowstone is really Jellystone all because of the publicity of Yellowstone, and Yogi Bear, proving that external forces caused me to believe that a place was another place which was actually another place.
Bwahahahahahaha. I'm not sure which is better- the info in this sentence or the length of it.

That's to say: "Ronny said the pig looked up in the sky as he attended his daily chores" is more believable than "Ronny said the pig looked up in the sky as he flew overhead in a stolen plane full of treasure."
But- But... I see treasure-hunting pilot pigs ALL the TIME!

All the sweat he had dropped during his job, to buy a house, and to raise a family was gone in a blink of an eye.
One would think that was a good thing- otherwise, what would he do? Keep it in bottles around the house?

I had to bust a mission back home walking early in the cold weather, so I do not have to deal with my mom roaring at me where I was last night.
Nice formal language, don't you think? Bust a mission- people say this?


And from the Super Bowl commentary:
"He's one of those guys who will always get penetration."
Rather like Sirius?

Only 5 more days to sign up for this year's hp_april_fools!!!

You don't want to miss the fun!

All the cool kids are doing it!

What have you got to lose?

You only live once!

A bird in your hand is worth two in your bush. Wait... that one's not quite right. :P


*pokety poke poke poke* You know you want to play at the most random, most fun, most creative, most friendly, most FOOLISH fest in HP fandom!

Here's my daily_deviant fic for the month. Despite the warnings, I don't think it's squicky at all.


Title: Confession
Characters: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks, Remus/Various
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/kinks: Satyriasis, Coitus a Mammalia, Infantilism, Salirophilia, Power Tools, Fellatio, Castration, Orgies, Claustrophilia, Hedonism, Courtship, Lacing, Sacofricosis, Flagellation, Fornicatory Dolls, Pheromones, Relics, Romantic Marriage, Confessions, Frottage, Suturing, Tantra, Adultery, Anal Plugs, Cybering (of a wizarding sort), Drugs, Coprophagy, Gender-bending
Word Count: 2222
Summary: "I like sex. I always have. But it's not as simple as that."
Author's notes: I figured rather than picking one kink I didn't write last year, I'd pick all the kinks I didn't write last year. Yes, I am crazy. Don't you all know that by now? Some are brief references, but they're still there, damnit.

Fake cut to D_D!
"Confession"

Comments are loved!